incredible

recently a friend of mine told me about the new 'incredible' bra from victoria's secret. she raved about how comfortable it was and how great it made her boobs look. in truth, her boobs DID look fantastic. but, bras don't exite me, and i dismissed the conversation. but she won't shut up about it. and after hearing about this damn bra for the past week, i thought, okay i'll check it out.

now i know you're thinking, 'clair, your boobs are already fantastic, you don't need a fifty dollar bra!' true. but it was so pretty and shiny and soft, so i thought, ' why not?'

well, as it turns out, this bra is pretty freakin' awesome. it's REALLY comfortable, and my boobs look even better than before! (i know i know, i thought it was impossible too) the material is SO soft and smooth, and i got it in a bright red color so hot that anyone who removes my shirt won't be able to control themselves. (which is often. since i like to bring home shoe-stealers. haha!) i don't really know what else to say about this bra. i mean it's so darn great that i may actually increase my bra wearing from two to three times per week! whoa!!

90 years ago today...

the 19th amendment was signed into law. we've come so far, and yet are miles away. however, to celebrate this amazing day in history i'd like to share a little suffragist wit. (thanks to the metro for printing this!!)

in 1915, alice duer miller wrote:

why we don't want men to vote

-because a man's place is in the army.

-because no really manly man wants to settle any question otherwise, than by fighting about it.

-because if men should adopt peaceable methods, women will no longer look up to them.

-because men will lose their charm if they step out of their natural sphere, and interest themselves in other matters than feats of arms, uniforms, and drums.

-because men are too emotional to vote. their conduct at baseball games and political conventions shows this, while their innate tendency to appeal to force renders them unfit for government.


happy 90th amendment day, ladies! :)

wordless wednesday

recipe blog?

a few people recently, whom i didnt even know read my blog, have asked my why i don't share recipes since i cook so much.

well, let's see.

first of all, i hardly ever follow a recipe anymore, with the exception of a couple of cake/brownie recipes, and this thai salad dressing i love. i have tons, and i look at them often to get ideas, but that's about it. im lucky to work for a chef who is trying his hardest to get me to be less anal and experiment, and make things that actually taste good rather than simply following directions. {ok, ok, im still anal, but at least i think outside the box a little bit now :) }

second, i'm a brat and i don't like to share! if i've come up with something great, i don't want anyone making it and taking credit for it. similarly, if i've made something, and you go make it poorly and say it's what i told you to do, i'll be pissed! i don't want my name attached to something crappy!

now and then, when i feel like being less of a bitch, and if you ask really nicely, i don't mind sharing some easy basic recipes, the kind of stuff that would be difficult to screw up. but, let's be honest, that doesn't happen that often! :)

the eye

strength, justice, rebirth, femininity, emotion, intuition, science, protection.

there are many different stories and theories regarding this symbol. each part represents one of the five senses. different parts of the eye correspond to different fractions, which ancient egyptians used to write prescriptions, buy, and sell goods. famously, horus, an egyptian god, used his eyes to rule the sun and the moon.

in an epic battle, horus' left eye, which he used to control the moon, was ripped out by his younger brother seth in a greedy attempt to assume power over the land. horus was set to inherit this power after seth slayed both his father and older brother, osiris. horus succeeded in winning the battle, but not before seth managed to rip out his left eye. after the battle the eye was never the same, thus the crazy tides.

when the battle was over, horus scooped us his limp left eye and took it to the underworld,where his father had been banished after his death. he fed his father the eye, where it gave him the strength to be reborn, and return to his rightful place amongst the other gods.

"The Left Eye of Horus represents abstract aesthetic information controlled by the right brain. It deals with esoteric thoughts and feelings and is responsible for intuition. It approaches the universe in terms of female oriented ideation. We use the Left Eye, female oriented, right side of our brain for feeling and intuition."
-sangraal library

wordless wednesday

not so secret...

i just had a five hour energy shot and it's got me so wired i can't get my thoughts together...it's awesome!! so anyway, instead of posting something of any real value, i thought i'd share this picture instead. it came from the postsecret blog, and if you haven't seen it, you should definitely check it out! (www.postsecret.com)



and by the way..i think about it ALL the time! ;)

my name is shaaahhhma and I'll be yo waitress!

I've become a bit of a snob.

I met a friend for lunch today, allowed him to select the restaurant and instantly regretted that decision. for when I asked, 'where would you like to go?' he responded with, 'cheesecake factory.'

ugh. really? cheesecake factory?! with all of the amazing restaurants this city has to offer...

first of all their menu is a BOOK. with that many choices, i assumed they can't possibly put out a good product. and they didn't. overdone pasta, no spices in the spaghetti sauce, oh and by the way did you know you can only get well done burgers? that's some quality meat, right there.

add to that the delicate ambiance that includes a couple to our right drinking glasses of class (white zin for those of you not in the biz) complete with southern drawls, and a man to our left with his napkin tucked right into the neck of his sleeveless everlast shirt.

in light of this lovely dining experience I'd like to set up some going-out-to-eat-with-clair ground rules.

1. the food. it has to be amazing. it definitely doesn't have to be fancy. after all ive been known to rent a car and drive an hour to providence for two dollar tacos because there's this little hole in the wall with the best carnitas I've ever had.

2. if we're going somewhere with wine please make sure it's the kind that doesn't burn when you swallow it.

3. do not, at the end of the meal, ask me if I'd like to make some cookies for dessert. yes, I love to bake. yes, I'm trying to make a living off of it. this does NOT mean I have any desire to be your personal baker and fulfill your all of your cookie fantasies.

4. please review rules 1-3.

5. or, forgoe the restaurant altogether and let's cook something fun at home.

alas, if the above proves too difficult, perhaps we're just not meant to eat together, and we should just go our seperate ways...

parting is such sweet sorrow

i always say that moving to boston was the best decision i ever made. it gave me a new city to explore, the chance to chase a lifelong dream, and the opportunity to meet some amazing people.

sadly, last week i had to say goodbye (for now) to one of those people. it's rare that you come across a person who you know will be a lifetime friend, no matter where you both are at any given time. it's rare to find someone who you trust enough to share your dreams for the future, and who won't judge your past mistakes.

kay, i miss you already! good luck with everything, and remember i'm only a short drive away if you need anything, ever <3

the answer is blowin' in the wind

how many roads must a man walk down, before you call him a man?



how many seas must the white dove sail, before she sleeps in the sand?



how many years must the cannonballs fly, before they're forever banned?



the answer my friend, is blowin' in the wind, the answer is blowin' in the wind



how many times must a man look up, before he can see the sky?



how many ears must one man have, before he can hear people cry?



how many deaths will it take till he knows, that too many people have died?



the answer my friend is blowin' in the wind, the answer is blowin' in the wind



how many years can a mountain exist, before it falls to the sea?



how many years must some people exist, before they're allowed to be free?



how many times can a man turn his head, pretending he just doesn't see?



the answer my friend, is blowin' in the wind, the answer is blowin' in the wind

-bob dylan

wordless wednesday, always late

i have been down this street many times

the first time i walk down it, i think, this is the coolest street ever. all the houses are different, misshapen, asymmetric, different colors. and then i see this pink house. it has crazy angles, and spiral staircase that wraps around the whole house. i think this is the most amazing house i have ever seen. i want this house. i think, "i must show this house to...."

but the pink house is gone. i have searched and searched for it. sometimes i am alone. sometimes i am with friends. i have driven down this street. i have biked down it. i have been down this street in every city. and the pink house is nowhere to be found.

until last night. somehow, i have found the pink house, and im finally in it. i am surrounded by several faceless people, yet i somehow know they are good friends of mine. they are telling me about a woman who may have died in the house, and still haunts it to this day.

i hear different snippets about this woman...you can't sleep on her side of the bed...she's angry...she'll hurt you...she won't let you use the bathroom after 10pm.

i find this odd, but they are serious. the feeling is the room is extremely somber. i look at the clock. it's 9:52. i think i can make it, but they are not sure. i go anyway.

the bathroom door is not typical, it has a big window that looks out into the living room where my friends are. i briefly think about closing the shade, but then realize i don't care if anyone sees me. and i need to hurry up and finish before 10pm.

i sit down and mid pee the shade on the window slams itself down shut. i feel some pressure on my right knee, and yet it feels numb at the same time. i can't move it.

in a few seconds, the feeling goes away.

i rush back out to tell my friends what happened. they say the woman had a bad knee. perhaps i was feeling her pain. i try to shake off what happened and we all decide to go to bed.

i fall asleep.

and then i awake to feel someone rifling in my left pocket. and then, like a photograph, i see flashes of the pocket, flashes of a hand coming toward me, back and forth, the pocket, the hand, the pocket, the hand.

i don't know who it is.

my body is frozen. i can't move. i think to myself, "scream, and someone will hear you. scream, scream, scream..."

i forced my mouth open to scream...


*************************************************************************************

i thought about just posting what's above, but then i realized i kinda wanted to get people's thoughts, because i am confused/troubled/curious/everything by this.

i have always had crazy dreams. sometimes, i've had dreams and then had something very similar to the dream happen in life. i am in no way saying that i think i can predict the future, or anything like that. i just think that maybe sometimes people can sense things/changes, maybe from changes in the atmosphere, or death, or...anything. for example, i once dreamt that i was at my father's funeral. a few days later, he passed away. now obviously, my dad was very sick, his passing was not a surprise, so maybe it was just simply on my mind, and came out in a dream. but maybe it was the world's way of letting me know it was about to happen, and preparing me for it.

the story i just wrote about above is a dream that i had last night. about a year ago, i dreamt about this street with the weird houses. i remember in the dream when i walked down the street i felt a little off, but i also remember being infatuated with these houses. they weren't your typical cookie cutter house that you see everywhere in the suburbs, they were all different, and crazy looking. i was drawn to this pink house. i remember wanting to badly to show someone this house. it is unclear who i wanted to show. but when we went back to the street i couldn't find the house anywhere. the street itself was winding, and i thought maybe we were just lost, so we gave up looking.

after that first dream, i have seen this street many times in multiple dreams. i am always in a different place, a different city, i am on vacation sometimes, and other times it's a city im living in. sometimes im alone, and sometimes not. i can never find the house, until last night's dream. i don't remember how or why i found the house.

in the dream, i did end up screaming, but i also actually screamed in real life, which is what woke me up. i was extremely scared by this dream, and was afraid to open my eyes or move after waking up. eventually i did, grabbed bella, and waited for the sun to rise.

it's been on my mind all day. i can't shake the feeling that after i've dreamt about this street so many times, i finally found the pink house. what is the point of it? why did i finally find the house? what was i supposed to find in the house? who is this woman? is it all a figment of my imagination, or is there a reason i keep seeing this street, keep looking for this house?

and what did i have in my pocket...?

i get by with a little help from my friends

i had the pleasure of seeing one of my favorite people in the world get married this weekend. i also got to see an awesome boston friend who is now living in sacramento. crazy! it's the first time i've been back to sac since i jumped ship to move to boston almost three years ago.

as i crossed the bridge into old sac, i was flooded with all of these amazing post college memories. certainly life wasn't always easy, we worked too hard for way too little, there was disappointment, searching, broken hearts. but there was also friendship, love, late nights, and the amazing opportunity of meeting three beautiful people with whom i now share an unshakeable bond.

it was always the four of us. sports corner, concert in the park, baseball games, old sac, willie's at 3am. friends like this are hard to come by. friends who will share your good times, as well as your bad. people who, despite the distance, the changes, or the time apart, move and inspire you the same way they did when you met all those years ago. people you can see after a year, and feel like not a day has passed.

i can't really pinpoint how these four different yet similar people came together. maybe it was an accident, maybe it was fate. but i will forever be eternally grateful for their love, their friendship, and i am content in knowing that this will not be the last time we meet.

i love you guys so much <3