baby fever?

no, i definitely don't have it.

but it seems to be all around me. my high school friends are doing it/talking about it/excited about it. (are we really that old, guys??) my aunt that i keep in fairly close contact with always asks me who im dating. she wants to know when i'll be getting married and having a family. it's a little difficult to find the words to eloquently say 'i don't really have time for that right now, all i can fit into my schedule is some casual steamy sex'. my favorite bakery on beacon hill is a mob between the hours of 3 and 6, so i avoid it at all costs, unless i'd like my pear tart and five dollar latte with a side of screaming brat. which i don't. i can't ride the bus to work unless i'm interested in taking a flying leap over the double wide stroller parked right in front of the door. (good thinking, mom, don't bother walking toward the middle of the bus where there's actually space for your entourage, just plop your big butt right down in front!)

don't get me wrong. kids are great. and cute. except when they open their mouths. well, okay, actually the only kids i really like are my friends' kids. and even then, im pretty much just tolerating them.

see here's the thing. at some point in my life i'd probably like to have a kid. but i think back on my childhood, and my parents, and all of their mistakes, and know that there are a LOT of changes i'd want to make in order to make my child's life a good one. and i'm way too selfish right now. and honestly, i am loving being selfish.

and the other thing. i feel like i'm finally working towards a career that i love. sure, i don't want to work at mccormick and schmick's all my life, but for now, i enjoy going to work, even on the days where i hurt myself (which is most of them), and school is awesome, and im doing something that i want to continue to do forever. a kid would totally interrupt this flow. i'd never, EVER want to be a stay at home mom. baking, glazing, filling? yes. laundry, spit up, sitting at home? uh, no. and i'd hate to have to miss work due to a sick baby, or have to leave early because my kid got in trouble and has to be picked up from detention. and let's face it, if a kid belongs to me, it's going to be trouble.

and another thing! bella! who would want a kid when there's a bella around?! but seriously, i freaking love my dog, and am pretty sure a crying baby would not appreciate being left in the crib while i took bella to the park. which i would do.

so in case i haven't made myself clear, i am definitely NOT in baby mode. and i LOVE that i'm not. i'll do the supportive friend thing. i'll send the shower gifts, and the bday gifts, and do the 'oohing and aahing' at the appropriate times. just don't ask me to babysit!