today someone told me i was unbreakable. it was actually in reference to an incident a couple weeks ago where i slammed my head into the floor (thanks again mcshmick's), but it got me thinking.
i've spent a lot of time making sure that no one breaks me. my past, (which is only appropriate for a therapist, or my amazing friends, and only discussed over a glass, ok bottle, of wine) is less than idealistic. to top it off, last year i basically got my heart ripped out and shit on, with absolutely no warning. since then i've been so terrified of feeling pain like that again, that i've become pretty good at keeping people at a distance, only letting them in just enough.
but im slowly realizing how amazing life is. and im realizing that i want to let in everyone, everything, every feeling. i want to feel the sun on my shoulders. i want to taste the sweet uncertainty of a first kiss. i want to hear music, and laughter, and tears. i want to feel my heart break when i think about how my father will never be able to walk me down the aisle.
i want to feel everything
i don't want to be unbreakable anymore.
...but i don't want you to break me, either.
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You are not unbreakable, you are just the type of strong that comes from that saying "what doesnt kill us only makes us stronger", Just dont be afraid to be vulnerable, it is not a sign of weakness but rather a sign of your comfort in your own strengths. You have survived the worse and know you can do it again. Hugs. REAP REAP REAP...reap something fun and memorable
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